eBlast: We are Giving Thanks!  Tips & Resources for the holidays...

Having a parent, friend or peer die by suicide can be a very difficult thing for anyone to process. Many teens are reluctant to reach out for help when they are dealing with difficult emotional issues including grief, and they try to get through it alone. This is not always the best or safest way. We want to remind teens that in addition to turning to friends for support, there are caring, trusted adults who can also help them cope during difficult times.
 
Since teens and young adults use social media for information and communication, we would like to suggest that you and your friends post the following on your Facebook wall or other social media sites such as Twitter or Snapchat
 
Death by suicide is so sad and such a shock to us all. Suicide can best be prevented through treatment and support. We can best honor loved ones who have died by suicide by making sure that people who are struggling seek help. If you’re feeling lost, desperate, or alone, please contact one of the lines listed below. You are not alone, you matter to us. Please reach out!
 
Toll-free, 24/7 Access Line for information, referrals and crisis response – 1-888-868-1649 Santa Barbara Response Network 24/7 Line – 805-699-5608. www.sbresponsenetwork.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK. www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 Information about suicide

• Suicide can be confusing. It is hard to understand why someone would take their own life
• Suicide is not the result of stress or getting a bad grade, having a fight with your family or breaking up with someone. It is much more complicated. While these things may be the last thing that happened, they don’t tell the whole story
• The majority of people who have even lots of bad things happen or have lots of stress don’t go on to take their lives, so we know something else is happening in the brain of someone who kills themselves
• Research tells us that over 90% of people that die by suicide have a mental health disorder at the time of their death, usually something like depression or even a drug or alcohol problem. Sometimes people who have depression or other problems use drugs and alcohol to feel better and help them cope. What often happens is the drugs and alcohol become another problem
• These disorders can cause symptoms that can make a person feel very sad, and hopeless. The symptoms kind of hijack the brain and make the person believe they will never feel better again
• Sometimes a person can do a good job of hiding their symptoms and even their family and closest friends don’t know how much they are struggling
• Depression and other mental health problems can trick the brain into believing that there is no other way out of this deep emotional pain, or no other way to solve a problem
• It is important for you to know there are very good treatments for these mental health problems. Counseling and even medicine can help relieve the symptoms and the person can recover and be well again
• We want you to be very clear that suicide is not a way to solve a mental health or other problem. Suicide is a forever decision that cannot be reversed.
• It is important to reach out to a trusted adult if you or a friend is experiencing some of the thoughts and feelings we have described because there is help available
• Think for a moment "Who are the trusted adults in your life; who are the trusted adults in this school or community that you would go to if you or a friend were having a really difficult time and maybe even having thoughts of suicide?"
• The next few days and weeks may be difficult for some of you. What are some things that help people get through difficult times?
• When people are going through hard times, it is important to get good sleep, eat healthy foods even if you don’t feel like eating, drink lots of water to pee out the built up stress chemicals in your body, and engage in healthy activities
• The most important thing is to always reach out if you or a friend is struggling. There is help! Your life matters.

​Project Heal of Santa Barbara County-Social Services Project

​Dear Mindset Journal, 
​How Do We Do The Holidays?
What does the “Holiday Season” bring to mind in you? It is so different for every individual. Some may stress about making the perfect meal, buying the perfect gift. Others may spend this time mourning the loss or absence of a loved one. Holidays tend to involve family, and that is very different for every individual.

The first holiday I ever hosted was one month after getting married (those of you who know the stress of that alone know). My husband and I had just bought a house (another stress). Add to that I was hosting a holiday meal for the first time ever in a house I barely know, one month after getting married for FOURTY of my husband’s family members! I love to cook, but for FOURTY?! I was a bit stressed.

The night before Thanksgiving I got the call that my grandmother had passed away. I truly lost it, guys. I had fourty people coming to my house the next day, some of whom were staying with us, and I just lost it.
So, here’s the deal: Holidays can be very stressful for so many reasons. Are we missing loved ones? Are we stressed about the family that’s coming? (that happens to me every year). Are we stressed about the preparation? Are we stressed because it takes us to memories that we may not be ready to or want to talk about? Are we stressed for any other reason? All of these are 100% reasonable and understandable.

A few ways I can deal with that:
1. CALL A FRIEND. When I found out my grandmother had passed on top of the other stress I had, I sat in my car and cried it out. Then I called my best friend. Being able to cry to her, talk to her, vent to her calmed me down enough to walk back in my house and take control of things again. I needed that.
The holidays are also a great time to remember loved ones who have passed. If you have family or friends around, bring them up in conversation. You’ll often find yourselves all laughing about stories from the past.
2. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GRIEVE: In my case, it was a very immediate loss, but I miss loved ones every holiday season. Let yourself do that. Tell people that you need to take a walk or need time for yourself. Celebrate the holidays with those who you love, including those that you have lost.
3. ASK FOR HELP: That first Thanksgiving taught me this one big time. I like to be in control of my kitchen and my cooking, but I learned that I can’t do it all as a “one-woman circus”. Ask others to bring or make dishes or even just do the dishes. This will take a huge weight off of your responsibilities. Be willing to let go of those responsibilities. If you’re like me, that’s not always easy, but trust me that others will love to help.
4. SELF CARE: Do not forget that you need to put yourself first. For me, I will step outside to talk to a friend with a full house of guests or just go for a short walk. Go to bed when YOU need to go to bed. Don’t feel that you have to cater to your guests all day and night. I find that a nice walk or a talk with a friend helps calm me down a lot if I am stressed.

Overall, the holidays can be both stressful and emotional. Keep in the forefront of your mind that you need to take care of yourself first in order to take care of others.  Well journal until next time...End Entry